


and we're best friends

by nbsherlock



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Bad Jokes, Family Feels, Friends to Lovers, Humor, IPRE Era, Laughter During Sex, Light Angst, M/M, Magic, Oral Sex, Trans Character, Vaginal Fingering, arguably an overuse of italics, spoilers for the stolen century e63, they're all trans!!!! all of them!!!! hahahahaha!!!!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 10:45:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10942893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nbsherlock/pseuds/nbsherlock
Summary: taako and magnus take to each other surprisingly well.--working out & magic & a lot of sex in a time of general stagnation.





	and we're best friends

**Author's Note:**

> you could say i got a kick out of the small bit of dialogue where taako talks about getting ripped and magnus talks about learning conjuration spells. you could say that and you could also say i wrote about 3000 words of kind of gross porn based on it. too far? maybe. do i care? no. did i have other things to do that were not this? yes definitely. enjoy.

In the time when Merle is gone, there’s a lot of empty space.

Time for… fraternization, bonding. Learning more about the civilizations they’ve been living in. And Taako has been getting stir crazy, to say the least of it. There’s not much to do once you’ve done all you wanted, when there’s nothing left to explore. When they just stagnate.

And, don’t get him wrong. It’s been nice, getting closer to the team every day. It’s just boring. Taako is bored.

Lup has been taking the worst of it.

The majority of their lives have been spent attached at the hip, and this hasn’t changed over time. For Lup, it is nice to relax, to just kick back and wait, for once. There’s no fighting, there’s nothing to solve. There is the faint apprehension that she should be doing more, but at the core of it, there is nothing to do but wait. And wait, and wait, and it’s relaxing up until the point where it isn’t. And Taako’s up to his third complaint of the day that he’s _bored_ and needs _something to do_. And Lup just wants to spend some time with Lucretia.

Lucretia, who has been spending her time sketching and writing and not letting any of this bother her because she is _sane_ and _stable_ and _will shut up for a fucking second_.

So, Lup drops Taako off with Magnus.

\--

Taako and Magnus take to each other surprisingly well. Over the past 30 years, their sharp edges have been sanded down and they no longer jump at the chance to fight or scheme their way through things. But, like Taako, Magnus is bored with the monotony of going to plane to plane with no goal but to find the light, to wait for Merle to reappear. They’re both vocal about it, but stay hidden away in a corner, muttering to themselves and to each other.

They also touch each other—a lot. So much that it makes the others slightly uncomfortable. Taako finds himself sitting in Magnus’s lap more often than not, wrapping his arms around his neck to stay steady as he rocks his legs back and forth and mutters about the climate and the _food, God, Magnus, the food is awful._ They lean in close together and exchange breath, never really connecting but feeling that connection regardless.

And then they start fucking.

\--

It starts on a day where instead of sitting in a common area on the ship they’re in Magnus’s bedroom. His bed is big and comfortable because he _actually uses it_ —a common complaint from Magnus every time they relocate to Taako’s room to sit on his nightmare of a twin-size mattress. Taako is sprawled out against the wall where it meets the bed and is looking at his nails, painted from the night before, chatting about something or other, his hair spread out under his head. And Magnus can’t stop himself from kissing him. He can’t. One second he’s not kissing him and then he is.

Taako brings an arm up to wrap around Magnus’s neck, pulling him in closer before turning his head so Magnus’s lips make contact with his cheek. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t know,” Magnus says against his cheek. He pulls back a little more. “Is this cool?”

“Uh,” Taako turns his head back and looks at Magnus. “Probably not, but.” He cocks his head to the side. “It’s been a while.”

Magnus nods.

“And you’re… not awful.”

Magnus smiles, his eyebrows coming together in amused confusion.

Taako closes his eyes and tilts his head back, resigned to the fact that this is definitely about to happen. With the big bodyguard guy who he definitely made fun of with Lup. Who he admittedly actually likes. A little. He sighs. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

Taako nods.

“I can kiss you,” Magnus states.

“Go for it.”

So he does. And he does for a while.

And Taako can be real. He can be honest. It’s really good. It’s really, _really_ good. It makes his blood run hot and he has to fight to keep desperate noises from coming out of his mouth. It’s humiliating, but this guy. Magnus. He’s good.

At one point, he pulls back, panting, and just looks at Taako. And Taako doesn’t mind. His gut swims with a tinge of worry. This isn’t something he does. He doesn’t kiss people and he doesn’t let people look at him _like that_. And he would never let things get this far without talking to Lup first.

But Magnus wraps a thick hand around his thigh and tugs it up to rest against his side and Taako takes the initiative and wraps both legs around his waist.

“Okay?” Magnus says.

Taako drags him down to kiss him again.

And that settles that.

\--

“Are you okay?”

Taako turns around, eyes flashing wide for a split second before he regains his composure.

Lup has an eyebrow cocked, her head tilted. “You’re… weird.”

Taako doesn’t open his mouth.

“Did you… fall or something?”

“No.”

“You’re walking like you fell… like you’re… sore.”

“Just been workin’ out too much, I guess.”

Lup stares at him, her eyebrows pinched.

“You don’t work out.”

Taako’s eyes dart to the side. “Started yesterday.”

“You’re lying.”

“Jeez, Lulu,” Taako snorts, “You don’t think I can work out?”

Lup narrows her eyes. “No. But…”

“Actually, I’m gonna go do that now.”

Taako turns and walks right out of the room.

\--

Magnus shucks Taako’s pants down. “She didn’t believe me when I said I was working out,” he groans, wrapping a leg around Magnus’s back. “I don’t look like I could work out?”

Magnus makes an indifferent noise and gets to work between his legs.

“Like… I can’t put on some muscle? Bulk up?” He twines a hand into Magnus’s hair and pulls him up against his clit. “I… uh,” he sighs. “I’m capable of that.”

Magnus hums an affirmative against him. Taako gasps, his back lifting just slightly off the bed, as Magnus slides a thick finger into him. “I’m…” his head falls back and he bites into his other hand, muffling the noises bubbling up. “I’m not that out of shape. I never have been. Lup’s just…” He wraps his other leg around Magnus’s back and tugs at his hair. “She’s always been… more toned than me or whatever.” He hums, a desperate thing that builds up in the back of his throat. “I guess.” He gasps. “She’s never really thought of me as--“

Magnus pulls back and stares at Taako. “Do you want to talk instead of…” he motions at their situation, “Y’know… doing this?”

Taako blinks. Then his eyebrows draw together. “No, keep…” He uses his grip in Magnus’s hair to pull his head back down. “I wanna come before this year ends, _jeez_.”

\--

After, they lay next to each other on Magnus’s bed, Taako having had a violent, bucking orgasm mid-rant and Magnus having enjoyed a slow grind against Taako’s thigh as he complained about Lup not believing him.

Now, the room is silent. Taako looks over at Magnus. He grabs his arm. “You’re big. You could… train me or whatever.”

“Why don’t you just come up with a different excuse?”

Taako stares at the ceiling. “Like what?”

Magnus sighs. “Dunno.” He looks from the ceiling to Taako. “Couldn’t you just tell her the truth?”

Taako scoffs. “No.”

Something painful twinges in Magnus’s chest. He opens his mouth to talk, but is cut off.

“It’s not like I don’t like you, or like I’m ashamed of it or whatever,” Taako says. His eyes are closed. Magnus has noticed he tends to close them when he’s opening up about something. His thoughts on The Hunger, on death, on… this, apparently. “I do like you. I just… don’t do this kind of thing. And I definitely don’t do it without talking to Lulu about it.”

“So… you’re afraid to tell her because you didn’t tell her.”

Taako nods. “I know it’s stupid, but we’re always honest with each other.” He opens his eyes and looks at Magnus, “We went through a lot of shit, together.”

“It’s not stupid,” Magnus says. He breathes, chest rising and falling decidedly. “Okay. We can do this.”

Taako cocks an eyebrow, “Do what?”

“Get you bulked up. And keep doing this.”

“What about you?”

“What _about_ me?”

Taako grins. “Don’t you need a cover?”

“It can’t just be that I’m helping you work out? Spotting you?”

Taako stares at him blankly.

“Watching you while you lift weights,” Magnus explains.

“I could teach you spells.”

“I’m a human, Taako.”

“You can still _learn them_.”

“Fine. So, I’m helping you work out in return for… knowledge of spells. We can’t just be friends?”

Taako chuckles. “We can be friends too, I guess.”

\--

Magnus leans over Taako and kisses him, hard, biting at his lower lip. “What do you wanna do?” He says against Taako’s lips.

“Could work out a little. Lift a few weights.”

Magnus closes his eyes. “You’re joking, yeah? That’s a joke?”

Taako turns his head to kiss Magnus’s neck, and then pulls him down to kiss him again. Then he grabs him by the shoulders and lifts him up again.

“You’re hilarious,” Magnus says, dryly.

Taako grins, pulling him back down to kiss him.

“How long is this going to go on?” Magnus murmurs.

“Until I’m ripped.”

“So forever,” Magnus says.

Taako pushes him back up. “You weigh like _a million pounds,_ I wouldn’t be surprised if it took me a few weeks.”

He pulls him back down and kisses him again, deeper. “You realize I’m doing all the work, right?” Magnus says against his lips.

Taako pushes him back up. “Baby steps.”

“What about those spells?”

“Another time.” Taako pulls him back down and wraps his arms around him. “I think I’m done working out, anyway.”

\--

Taako walks out of the ship bathroom post-shower directly into his sister. He tugs his towel up reflexively.

“What’s going on,” she says.

“What do you mean?”

“God, you’re so—“ Lup groans, “ _Infuriating_ , Taako.”

“You been spending a lot of time with Lucy?”

“Shut up,” she flushes. “You’re an idiot.” She turns and walks away.

Taako checks in the mirror to make sure the Minor Illusion he cast on the bruises on his neck worked.

\--

Magnus whispers something between Taako’s legs.

“Are you talking to something down there?”

Magnus grins. “I’m practicing my spells.”

“No,” Taako says. He pushes himself up onto his elbows and stares down at Magnus.

“Why not? I need practice too, for this whole ruse to be believable.”

“No one’s even _asked_ you about it.”

“Fine, okay,” Magnus grins. “Come back here.”

Taako scoots his hips forward to let Magnus back between his legs.

Magnus is good at what he does. Knows how to work his tongue, his fingers. Taako moans, the sound muffled by his hand. “Ah, Magnus,” he says. “Please.”

“What’s the magic word?” Magnus says.

Taako freezes. “I hate you.”

“That’s not it.”

“I _said_ the magic word. It’s please. I said please.”

“Nope.”

“Magnus, spells don’t even _work_ like that.”

At that, Magnus slides two fingers into him. Taako’s back bends and his mouth falls open in a silent cry. “Oh, _gods._ ”

Magnus fucks him with his fingers, slowly, precisely. Taako’s thighs start to shake, his toes curling into the mattress.

“You wanna come?”

“Yes,” Taako cries. His fingers twisting into his own hair.

“Magic word.”

Despite the request, he doesn’t stop fucking him. He keeps up the same mindless rhythm, in and out and, _ah._ “I don’t even know what you’re asking me to say,” he shouts.

“I’ll say it then.”

“Mmmagnus, I swear… if you, uh… say a _single word_.”

Magnus uses his other hand to rub rough circles into Taako’s clit, his whole body tensing up as he comes.

Distantly, he hears Magnus burst into laughter as he says, “Alakazam.”

Taako can’t even threaten him, his body goes so limp.

\--

“I hate you.”

Magnus kisses his neck. “You really don’t.”

“I really, _really_ do.”

“Come here.” Magnus pulls him on top of him and lets him bury his face in Magnus’s neck.

“I really hate you,” Taako murmurs.

“I think you thought it was funny,” Magnus says, running a hand up and down Taako’s back.

Taako musters the energy to prop himself up. “It wasn’t funny. How would you like it if I was eating _you_ out and said _abracadabra_?”

“You’re providing me with more material. And I wasn’t even eating you out.”

Taako collapses back against Magnus’s chest. “You’re annoying.”

“We could just tell her, you know. It’s been a few cycles and I’m also pretty sure she’s sleeping with—“

“I literally would rather hear anything than who my sister is sleeping with.”

“Barry _and_ Lucretia,” Magnus finishes.

Taako rolls off of him. “I’m done with you. Go away.”

Magnus grins and presses his body up against Taako’s back. “This is my room.”

“Might as well be mine, with all the time I spend here.”

“ _Exactly_. So, we should just tell her and then you won’t have to pretend you’re working out and we can stop the weight lifting because I _know_ you hate it.”

“I don’t hate it.”

“You do.”

“I _don’t_.”

“Taako—“

“Okay, I hate it. I really hate it. Happy?”

“Yes.” Magnus curls his arm around Taako’s waist to slip a hand between his legs.

“Rewarding my confessions with orgasms.”

Magnus laughs, “You’ve figured out my evil plan!”

“We’ll tell her, okay? After you get me off at least ten more times.”

“Bet I can do it in one night.”

Taako pushes down onto his hand. “20 bucks.”

\--

After two days, Magnus and Taako stand in front of Lup. She stares at them. Magnus nudges Taako with his elbow.

“Okay,” Taako starts.

Lup looks unamused.

“Honestly, I was sort of working out some of the time.”

Lup inhales through her nose and closes her eyes.

“But,” Taako says quickly. “Most of the time I was fucking Magnus.”

Magnus closes his eyes and sighs as well.

“Magnus was fucking me,” Taako corrects.

“That’s not even what I was complaining about,” Magnus interjects.

“We were… together?”

Magnus rolls his eyes and shrugs.

Lup cocks an eyebrow. “And you didn’t tell me about that for all these cycles… why?”

Taako blinks. “Because…” He’s forgotten the reason why. “Because it just sort of happened and usually we talk about shit like that before it happens.”

Lup looks exhausted, “Taako, I don’t need to know you’re having sex every time it happens.”

“No, I _know that_ —“

“Do you?”

Taako bites his lip. “I know it was stupid.”

Lup nods.

“But we tell each other everything, and then this happened and I didn’t tell you and I don’t even know why!” Taako is flushed, his hands twisting together. Magnus nudges him and he looks up at him.

He holds out a hand. Taako breathes. He takes it.

Lup’s face softens. “I get it, okay? You’re used to telling me everything and then you didn’t tell me something and felt guilty and for some reason decided to lie about it instead,” Lup shakes her head. “I know I’m the older twin, but _jeez_ , Taako. You don’t _have_ to tell me everything.”

Taako stiffens. “You aren’t the older twin.”

Lup turns and smiles over her shoulder. “Whatever you say, big guy.”

And then she’s gone.

Taako and Magnus stand with their hands intertwined.

Magnus leans down and murmurs, “ _Is_ she the older twin?”

\--

They’re in Magnus’s bed again. The air feels clearer, in a way. Like Taako hasn’t just sweat and swore and collapsed on the floor of the room like he had previous times. Probably because he hasn’t.

This time, he’s between Magnus’s legs, loving him—the thought still sends a twinge of unfamiliarity down Taako’s spine—with his tongue in broad strokes. Sliding thin fingers into him. Magnus is… admittedly more of a giver than a taker. And Taako is fine with receiving. But he also likes this. Magnus, spread out on his bed, both hands tangled in Taako’s hair. Taako gives his clit long slow sucks that send sparks down Magnus’s spine. The muscles in his legs tighten up and his hands grip tighter. Taako moans against him.

Magnus always comes suddenly, without much of a warning but a sharp tug at Taako’s hair. Taako responds accordingly, sucking faster, his finger stroking inside as Magnus falls apart. This time, he pulls back and says, “Abracadabra.”

Magnus stares at him, the orgasm still making his head swim. “You’re joking.”

Taako grins. He rolls off of Magnus’s body and brings his own spit slick fingers down between his legs.

“Are you joking?” Magnus says. He turns over and stares at Taako, who is rubbing at himself, slowly.

“I think it’s hot,” Taako says.

“No, you don’t.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you almost _killed me_ when I did it.”

Taako hums and rubs faster. “You’re not even letting me get you off,” Magnus complains. “Is this revenge?”

“Why would I do that?” Taako turns his head and smiles with all his teeth.

Magnus sighs and pulls Taako’s thighs apart, slipping two fingers into him before laying his head down on the pillow where Taako’s is. He moves them in soft flutters. Taako’s eyes shut.

“It won’t even be funny next time because you _made_ it hot,” Magnus says, fingers still moving.

Taako makes a desperate noise. “It’s not hot. I lied.” His hand speeds up. Rubbing in jerky, frantic motions.

“You’re close, huh?”

Taako chuckles humorlessly, his head tilted back. Magnus leans over and kisses a bruise into his neck.

“Why don’t you come for me, Mr. Magician,” he mumbles into the skin there.

And Taako does. His whole body shaking to pieces. It’s the most ridiculous, wonderful thing.

As he settles down, his heart still racing, he stares at Magnus, whose eyes are closed, breathing deep. He’s going to fall asleep, Taako can tell. He does this sometimes. It’s nice, to see him sleep. To see anyone sleep, really. But it makes him look younger, softer.

Taako props himself up on an elbow and stares at him. “I can’t believe you just made me come while calling me _Mr. Magician,”_ Taako mumbles.

Magnus shifts in his sleep and snorts. “You said… y’thought the magic thing was hot.”

“I was _joking_.”

Magnus’s shoulders perform some sort of a shrug. “It was funny.” His words slur together. He breathes out of his nose, in a long huff, his body relaxing further.

Taako lays down next to him. “I guess it was.”

“Love you,” Magnus murmurs.

Taako freezes. It’s the first time either of them have said something like that, but somehow it feels like it’s been said a million times, like it’ll be said a million times more. “I love you too, Mags,” he whispers.

Magnus sleeps.

Taako rests. He guesses waiting isn’t the _worst_ thing in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> hit me UP! @margaritaville on tumblr. we're wastin' away there. constantly. also leave kudos and comments because i use them as fuel to write this garbage.


End file.
